yoga toolbox
Relationship Help: How the latest research can transform your relationship
Think back to when your love was new, when he first fell in love:
How Did you know you're in love? Maybe you could not eat, could not sleep, could not concentrate at work or chores or anything that does not include the object of love. Maybe you felt like a completely different person, unrecognizable even to yourself. Even those who have long-standing fear of intimacy found deep connections in the initial agony of love – under the umbrella of love, emotional intimacy art magic becomes as natural as breathing.
And, of course, your brain – in a very physical, measurable, scientific level – was unveiling its own set marked changes in your love was new. Knowing the truth behind it can help infuse its long-term relationship with a new life, although the days of heady, mark a new love are long behind you.
What the research says about falling in love
Dr. Helen Fisher and her research team wanted to know what happens to the brain when people fall in love. In a series of clever experiments, took the people who describe themselves as head-over-heels in love, not MRI of their brains while watching pictures of their loved ones. Dr. Fisher also scanned their brains when they saw the pictures of aliens (ie, people who had no feelings for).
Guess what happens to your brain when you're in love?
When you are in love, the pleasure centers of your brain goes into over drive. In particular, two brain chemicals (neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine) are secreted in larger quantities. These chemicals are associated with feelings of joy, euphoria, increased attention and goal-directed behavior (physical activity and certain drugs also increase these brain chemicals).
This explains why it feels so wonderful when you fall in love – You're tall! (But is the kind of high that is perfectly legal and come with no dangerous side effects.)
Since love and deepens over time, the intensity of infatuation fades and brain chemicals back to normal levels. This allows you to be less consumed with her new lover, it's important for you to begin to restore balance in your life that existed before he fell in love. If dopamine levels never returned to normal, you never do anything at work or at home, since only be able think of your partner. Other important areas of their lives would be affected.
We will use this research to deepen intimacy and create a relationship more dynamic:
Intense love, exercise and certain drugs are not the only ways you can keep the brain's pleasure centers of active (and, if not obvious, I am recommending only the first two). Activities that are new and exciting course also increase their dopamine levels.
Here's the important point for the relationship: when you and your new partner and share exciting experiences, surrounding him as their relationship with positive feelings (joy, excitement, joy). The positive feelings that the experience associated with their partner (and is associated with positive feelings). This will deepen intimacy and love and keep the passion alive!
This could explain why couples feel the need to go on holiday to revive their account of fires – are the creation of experiences that are mutually exciting and new, and although they do not realize that are stimulating the pleasure centers of their brains. Did you feel closer to your partner during and after your vacation?
Putting this research to work on your relationship:
Make a commitment to do something new together
This can be simple and cost nothing, or complicated and expensive (like visiting a remote destination). It depends you.
Research findings show that couples that make the novel undergoes a regular part of the index of the relationship of their relationships to more positive. Apply this important information to their own relationship – trying new things together.
Here are some ideas:
~ Go to a new restaurant or cook a meal new life together.
~ Take a class together (some ideas: the adult education classes, art, yoga, dance, gymnastics, cooking, foreign language).
~ Create something together (an aviary, a bank, a floral arrangement, a model of the Titanic).
~ Decorate a room together (in which both are involved in all aspects of the project, rather than one partner doing all the work while the other just nods his approval in the color choices).
~ Enjoy a new hobby (photography, carpentry, enigmatic puzzles, or decisions, stamp collecting, skiing).
~ Get fit. Join a gym as a couple. Or a walk or hike (taking different routes from time to time).
~ Vary your leisure activities. Go to concerts and plays and museums. (And if you've never been to the opera, you can not very well say that I do not like … right?)
~ Volunteer for something you so passionate. Imagine how good you feel if you and your marriage partner benefits of doing something new, while delivering aid to someone who really needs it.
… Think together about other new experiences that you both like to try – research shows that variety is indeed the spice of life (and love)!
To discover other ways to create a deeper more intimate relationship visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and join Dr. Nicastro Relation Tools FREE Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship "and" Relationship self-defense: Control the way they argue their case … before the control. "
About the Author
Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich and his wife Lucia founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
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